How to get a new computer in corporate America:
1. Spend time researching what you need and preparing purchase requisition
2. Get your request turned down by the finance department
3. Find an existing unused computer as requested
4. Junk up the old computer
5. Shame management into letting you have a new one
This actually happened to my boyfriend. He was starting a new job. When told he could not have a new laptop he went and found one that was no longer in use. It was already pretty junky, with makeup stains and some scratches. He further “distressed” it and then went in proudly to show the comptroller that he’d found a computer.
“That’s disgusting, I can’t let you go around and visit customers with a laptop that looks like that!” she exclaimed.
Voila. His request for a new computer was approved.
How much time went into researching the purchase? How much time went into his exchange with the comptroller? How much is their time worth? Corporate culture in most places does not, unfortunately, put much of a premium on their human capital. But if you want to buy something you better watch out. Strange.
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